FORM OF JACQUES
Heatwave's Gonna Burn Up the Northeast Today and Tomorrow
New York is like the only girl at the party I care about impressing, the one who makes me think oh god, my hair is stupid, and I should have worn the other shoes. Unfortunately, I can’t afford to date her, and her dad wouldn’t let me in the house anyway.
Reply: I'm from here and let me tell you, she's a total bitch who will make your life hell. She'll spend all your money and then scream at you about how you've ruined *everything.* Move on, find a nice pizza-oven girl and have a decent life. Sure, every once in a while, maybe on a warm summer night, you'll ache for her, but the rest of the time, you'll be content. If I could escape this, I would, but like an Edith Wharton heroine, I am trapped by my birth. Run! Live free!
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